Plastic Surgery Can't Fix Libya

Libya is run by a mad man, not a comedian, not a country singer that we all used to love.

Confusingly, they all seem to have the same plastic surgeon and have the same dead behind the eyes, evil stare. While we can't be sure why Joan Rivers is so dead behind the eyes, a glimpse into her reality show reveals a hard, crusty bitter, depressed, gross and tacky comedian with a lot of experience. Kenny Rogers, he just sold his soul to be the Gambler, not the Coward of the County. Oh, Lucille.

Gaddafi is dead behind the eyes because of the way he has run the country for all of these decades. It is actually a crime to have a political conversation with a foreigner in Libya, the most censored country in the Middle East,  according to FreedomHouse.org. Did I mention that he is killing non-violent protesters in the streets? He is supposed to face criminal charges, but he doesn't care because he looks tan and fabulous, ready for Jersey Shore. Holla!

I guess every dictator should manscape and go down with the ship, as he has vowed to die on Libyan soil, a martyr. Gangsta!! I think MTV should have the next Jersey Shore in Libya, let's bring the party to his house. He already looks like he fist pumps and stays up all night like a vampire. Or Charile Sheen!
I had to go there.

Sadly, we totally predicted in the Guavara house that the U.S. would intervene, and we launched missiles after Gaddafi supposedly agreed to a cease-fire, then betrayed it. Who knows what the truth is about this, it is hard to believe what the government tells us. Obama has kept his Presidential authority to torture, start wars and do everything and more than Bush did, regardless of the lies he told in his campaign.  My baker friends, maybe this has more to do with the giant reserves of oil in Libya than the UPrising. Convenient, no?

UPrising

We recommend for Gadaffi, that instead of getting that next laser peel he try this "Egg White Mask" from Planet Green. For those of us who want to eat our egg whites, let us bake an Angel Food Cake, fat free and delicious! We proudly add this to our list of freegan dishes as we did get the lemon for this sauce from a bag a neighbor left out.

We used a recipe from The America's Test Kitchen's Family Cookbook, which you can buy, and they are not very generous with their recipes. I am pretty sure, the standard Angel Food Cake google recipe will be A.OK.

I mixed freegan lemon juice and zest with confectioner's sugar and a touch of salt for the glaze.Organic blueberries finished it off. It didn't really need the sauce, the cake was so moist, but our freegan lemons have a different taste than the standard store bought variety, which added an earthy, herby, very satisfactory flavor. 

I cut out the parchment and greased the back

Cool on an empty wine bottle with water in the base!

Not sure if it sank a tiny bit? Still delicious for a 1st try!

ENJOY! 

Walker, Wisconsin Ranger Mac 'n Cheese

Scott Walker has gone ape-nuts.

Walker has decided he will not back down at any cost, refuses to follow court orders to open the house, and does what he wants like a fat brat.  Currently lawyers salivating everywhere over the legality of what has happened in Wisconsin and I haven't seen the ACLU knock off their boots so fast ever, in my lifetime.
The Smithsonian is in Madison, collecting items, stories, photo and video to mark this event, as they know it is an historic moment.


On Wednesday, March 9, 2011, the Wisconsin senate "stripped" the bill that has caused so much attention, thus allowing them to vote with the Fab 14 still on the lam.

To sum it up, they are saying it no longer has to do with the budget, therefore the presence of the Fab 14 is not needed for the vote. By doing so they admit they are filthy liars, as they kept in the part of the bill stripping teachers and other union members of their rights. They had been saying all along it was due to money, then finally said they would take out the union at their knees and pulled this crap, in essence, admitting they lied.


My fellow bakers, without the unions in this country, we wouldn't even have a minimum wage. Do people really want their kids to go to a school where the teachers are paid terribly and have bad benefits? Why would anyone smart and decent take a low paying job with bad benefits? OH, that's right, they wouldn't. They would do something better and leave those crappy teaching jobs for the pervs and the twisted aholes who have an agenda they want to brainwash our kids with.

As they do so well, here is the Democracy Now Team, offering the side dish for us today, the Lowdown Hash with our Walker, Wisconsin Mac 'n Cheese!

So tonight, we hope that the ACLU and other lawyers keeping an eye out on this situation get something done about the illegalities that took place during this vote that should, hopefully, nullify it. But with this Johnny Cash, Rogue, John Wayne, Billy the Kid Governor, who knows how this will really end. He ignores the law, court orders and most importantly, the voices of those he governs. What a douche!

UPrising

Tonight we use our left over Wisconsin Blue Cheese and Wisconsin Jalepeno Cheddar, along with some parmesan to make a twist an the traditonal Mornay sauce.

about 6 oz shredded mixed cheese
about 3 oz Parmesan cheese
1 liter milk
1/4 cup flour
2 tbs butter

Warm the milk to a simmer. In another saucepan, make a roux, golden brown. Mix in the simmering milk and stir, over med/low for 30 minutes. Take off the heat, stir in the cheeses. Yum!

I parboiled 1/2 package of good macaroni. Poured into a casserole dish, covered with the Mornay sauce. After 30 minutes at 375, I topped with 1/2 cup of Parmesan seasoned homemade breadcrumbs and baked another 15 to golden brown.

Here's to you, Fab 14! And to you, the people of Wisconsin who won't stand for this!

The Fab 14 are Fab-Tastic! Go Wisconsin!

WISCONSIN!

It is so important what is happening in Wisconsin. I, Chef Guavara, feel terribly that I have been too busy with out of town trips, family responsibilities and work to get back to business!

The day after I heard that the Fab 14 democrats had fled the state of Wisconsin to avoid the vote to cease collective bargaining for the unions, I looked up recipes for Wisconsin. We also had a small party celebrating Wisconsin cheeses.

The thing about Wisconsin is that it highlights the media lying to us, denying us the real truth of this news. Their governor has gone ape-nuts, is totally in bed with the Koch brothers and is committing career suicide for all of  the aholes who intend on going along with this bill to kill collective bargaining rights. What are they getting in return? The promises must be great. Where are the media's investigative journalists telling us the background, or should I say lowdown?

I kind of dislike some aspects of unions and have fought against having them in my workplace because they weren't needed and would actually have caused our best employees to have pay deductions in an environment where we were paid for production. We didn't need the union because we already had competitive wages, we had benefits, we had 401k. We had these things thanks to the unions who had come before us and demanded fair wages and pensions. I get it. 

The eye opener in Wisconsin is that they have already sent our union jobs oversees for manufacturing, so now they go after those they can't outsource to China. Yup, I tie all of this back to our bad economic policies, allowing trade with countries like Vietnam and China who don't give a rats ass about human rights, and whose goons benefits greatly from the likes of Walmart, Nike, Target, Macy's, and really anyone who manufactures there. It is funny to me that in Hong Kong they play public service commercials asking people to consider where their clothes and shoes come from, indicating that your fancy basketball shoes were probably made by a child or slave worker. In the U.S., they would never show such a thing, if someone ever showed that commercial the greedy corporations who run our Republic would put a stop to it and our media, who for the most part, is in the pocket of our government and does what they are told, would never touch it. American's LOVE to live in denial while profiting from the skin off the backs of the downtrodden. It is historically our biggest shame, yet we still do it and call it PRIDE. 

Hendrik Hertzberg, in the New Yorker, points out in that the union decline is proportionate to the economic inequality that everyone is in such denial about. Trickle down has trickled up like spam fat and is sitting at the top for the uber-rich to slurp off while everyone else is having a decline in their standards of living. This truth sucks, but we need to see it to change it.

My question to my fellow bakers is, when given the choice between good and evil, why would anyone take the bad side? When a proposal is put before us, why can't we each look at it and see who will benefit? When something is benefiting our CHILDREN and the WOMEN of this country, that is good. If it only seems to benefit the OLD WHITE UBER-RICH MEN who absconded with trillions of dollars of OUR PENSIONS, then why in the world would the likes of you and I approve of this? 

Here is a really long video, but one worth watching where Michael Moore lays it out for the people, while supporting the protestors of Wisconsin:

UPrising

Let's break this bread, a Cheesy Wisconsin Bread. I made the sourdough from a starter I started with a freegan orange I found on the sidewalk. 

1 cup starter

3 cups flour

1 tsp salt

2 tbs butter

Rise for 2 hours. Punch down. Put in buttered bread pan, rise for one hour. Bake for 50 min at 375F.

The Wisconsin recipe I read called for a mush of mushrooms, cheese, onions and garlic smushed into the bread. So here it is:

I simply sauteed onions & mushrooms and beer, added a ton of garlic. I laid this into the bread which was sliced almost through. Added Wisconsin cheddar and Wisconsin blue cheese, then we popped it back into the oven at 350 for about 15 minutes, turning occasionally for even browning.

It really did taste like Wisconsin. Fatty, starchy, carbie, beery, overall indulgent. A good place to visit, but we wouldn't want to eat like this more than once per quarter.

Berlusconi Loves to Dip His Biscotti

Oh, Italy. So NOT sexy....

Italian Prime Minister Silivo Berlusconi has been indicted for purchasing sex from an underage girl, the latest in his long list of tawdry behavior. 
This time he was found out in having an affair with an underage prostitute, whom he bailed out of jail for theft at one point. 


I almost want to feel bad for his wife of 20 years, except that she met him while dancing naked and had an affair with him that ruined his previous marriage. It is always a wonder how people could be surprised when their cheater cheats on them. You may recall that he has also placed "showgirl" style TV hosts into politics. What a cad!


What you've got to love about the guy is his defense, saying, it is "better to be passionate about a beautiful girl than a gay." 
While this was not intended to offend gay people, he was saying that at least he's not some evangelical Republican having gay sex while pretending to be straight and narrow. I get it.

Italy photos taken by the Guavaras in 2005 on vacation

To sum it up, he's offensive to women, derogatory, creepy, just unlikable.Women all over Italy and the world are holding protests over this behavior, while he seems to blow off his crimes like they are just campy and not criminal. The men of Italy might agree, as they don't want to be called out on their bad behavior, either. Benedetto Bruno, a retired chemist with Italy’s Civil Protection Agency, says in the New York Times about the issue, “I hate to say this, but Italians don’t want to respect laws, they don’t want to pay taxes, they want to do as they like, and he personifies this.”


To "celebate" Berlusconi's indictment, we break bread with Italian Biscotti. Interesting thing about biscotti is that it is phallic, you pop in some cherries, bake it twice to let it harden, but you have to dip it in something warm and wet, like COFFEE, and only then is it really yummy. Otherwise it is just a dried up, crusty & kind of stale. Like some politicians.
What's sad about this, is Italy could be so sexy, if only the men weren't such COWS. 

UPrising

We find this technique in the America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook, however Chef Guavara has modified the recipe here:


 1-3/4 cups flour
1/4 cup cocoa
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
4 TBS butter, softened
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp almond extract
3/4 whole almonds, toasted and chopped
2 TBS orange zest
Chef Guavara added dried cherries, about 1 cup chopped, but use what you like


Set oven to 350.
Whisk dry ingredients in a bowl.
In a large bowl cream butter and sugar to fluffy. Beat in eggs one at a time. Add vanilla and almond extract. Slowly add in dry ingredients until combined. Fold in cherries and almonds until combined.


Cut dough in two, press each into a 2"x13" log. Bake for 35 minutes, turning halfway through.

Cool for 10 minutes. Set oven to 325.


Cut logs into 1/2 thick slabs. Bake again, for 15 minutes, flipping halfway.


I was going to dip in white chocolate, but lost my steam. They were OK without. I have had better, but good for a first try and with of course, all natural ingredients!


Dip it in something hot!



Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/11/02/2010-11-02_italian_premier_silvio_berlusconi_amid_uproar_over_teen_tyst_says_affairs_better.html#ixzz1E2cNBBlx
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/14/world/europe/14italy.html?partner=rss&emc=rss

Happy Valentine's Day, Bradley Manning!

The Guavaras celebrate V-Day with lots of sugar and even more love. While we had a beautiful weekend of perfect weather and fun baking, we remembered that Bradley Manning is not having such a great time. As we enjoy our cookies this U.S. citizen is being tortured by being held in solitary confinement for 23 hours per day.

Does anyone else find it odd that we violate this man's rights in some twisted attempt to prove that we are the biggest hypocrites in the world? Let's just forget about it for now, wipe up our cookie mess with the Bill of Rights and move on to the recipe.

The Guavara Family wishes Pvt. Bradley Manning a Happy Valentine's Day. You are not alone.

UPrising

I happily swiped this recipe from good ol' Martha Stewart. Here is a link to Martha's Valentine's Cookies. 

I used royal icing to decorate.

Our two cents on the recipe is that it was a tiny bit dry and the frosting a little boring. We added some almond flavoring to the icing to jazz it up. Will probably try a different one next time, although sugar cookies are not our  faves. It has been so long since I made them, I couldn't find cookie cutters. These are free formed cut with a serrated knife.

BoneApe ATeat

Buh-Bye, Mubarak - What's Next?? CROISSANTS!

BREAKING BREAD BREAKING NEWS - MUBARAK STEPS DOWN!
Let's bake and celebrate with Croissants and discuss timeliness....
With our minds and hearts in Egpyt, it is easy to get caught up in the urgency we read in Tweets, the stress in the voices of those being interviewed and the impatience that we all feel with Mubarak ignoring the wishes of the people. However, one thing that everyone must understand is that we have to show patience in these trying times. We have to have calm decisions and clear direction in Egypt and that comes with well thought out planning and vision, not rash decision making.
Consider the French Revolution, it was three years from the UPrising to the creation of their new republic and four years to the "removal" of their leader, Louis XVI. Rome wasn't built in a day and a government shouldn't be, either.
In this age of Twitter and Facebook, the youth of Egypt and the world watching want instant gratification with this UPrising, the same kind we get when our Facebook posts get a lot of likes, or when our Tweets are re-Tweeted. Maybe in this instance, we should slow our pace and change our expectations. But of course, never give up what is RIGHT. Prosecute Mubarak, give his wealth back to the people, remove Suleiman, elect a fair leader. With grace. 

 While we wait, let's bake something from France. But of course, CROISSANT!

UPrising

France is famous for their pastries and the first thing I ate upon my arrival was a delicious croissant. The evaporation of the water in the butter, the layers and layers and layers, the way they tear apart, cracking open to let out their magical, steamy perfume. There is nothing like it. A known lover of all things French, it is a wonder that I, Chef Guavara,  have not yet tried this at home. The idea of it was daunting!  Plan for a two day process, and if you are having them for breakfast, you will love this recipe!

The fun and exciting part is the BUTTER. The recipe here used more butter than I did, I used only 3/4 pound. Browsing through recipes, it seems that there is  kind of a contest to see how much butter one can smash into a croissant. Although I did use less, they were absolutely scrumptious.

CROISSANTS RECIPE LINK:

Tracy's Culinary Adventure


I used this recipe because I thought Tracy did an excellent job of showing the process and her instructions were easy to follow from a recipe by James Peterson from his book, Baking. I am also linking to her because the instructions are super long.

All of the pics on this page were of our own creation. No mixer and less butter being the only difference besides practice and technique. Does anyone want to do the math and tell us how many layers are in this thing? (Yes, we already did the math, but it is fun to figure out. You will be surprised. Learn.)

I am sure these could have been more beautiful, but as this is a blog about LEARNING, our baking skills are a work in progress. 

EGYPT!

Will Mubarak ever leave? Today it seems that he is set to stay until his term is up, even though the people have spoken loud and clear. He has put into place the exact person that the U.S. and Israel want there, the new VP, Omar Suleiman. Wikileaks has shown they have strong ties.
It seems that the "thugs" we hear about are once again becoming apparent as the U.S. bullies everyone and is trying to use this UPrising to get what they want out of Egypt, again. Let us not forget that the U.S. sent suspects to Egypt to be tortured. We have a sordid history with this regime.
I wonder how long it will take for Suleiman to obtain his billions in real estate across the globe as Mubarak has, with the help of the U.S.

Egypt takes $2 Billion in aid from the U.S. each year and spends it on weapons and apparently, personal real estate in Beverly Hills for their President. Is that corporate welfare at work for U.S. companies? Much like Israel, the bullets sprayed by the Egyptian army are shot by U.S. weapons and are flown in U.S. planes. Seems that all of the American War Machine Corporations also have a lot to gain by keeping Egypt and Israel in the pocketbooks of the U.S. government, regardless of their politics or human rights abuses.

While this artist was hoping to break bread over the victory of the people of Egpyt in ousting their president, we will have to settle for waiting to see who wins this - the U.S. and Israel, or the people of Egypt.

UPrising

Egypt is a wealth of bread. The birthplace of yeasty bread is the perfect place to start our exploration of breads and pastries. Here is a basic recipe for EESH BALADI, it's pita-ish.

3 cups flour (from whole wheat to white, or I recommend, a blend)

1 cup warm water

1 tsp yeast

1/2 tsp salt

Heat over to 475.

Mix ingredients to form ball. Knead for 10 minutes, rise to double in size. (1 to 3 hours).

Punch down and knead for 2 minutes. Cut into 8 individual pieces, roll out and place on ungreased cookie sheet.

Lay cookie sheet on bottom of oven, or lowest rack for 6-8 minutes until puffed up.

Finish on broiler to brown, or flip, your choice.

I took these, cut them into triangles, basted in olive oil, salt & pepper and toasted for hummus. 

I have no one to credit for this recipe, as the one I tried gave the basic dough recipe (no credit needed for that) and their oven technique was wack, causing me to do my own experimentation.

Enjoy and please, break bread and discuss!

Bon Apetit!

sahha o afyaa